Bloopers of The Hunger games Trilogy
by Doctor Who MCR Harry Potter
Summary: This is bloopers, and my version of how things should've happened Of course these people don't act like they really do so yeah! Rated M for language
1. Reaping

**I had funwriting my twilight one so heres my hunger games one!**

* * *

*Reaping*

Effie smiling like mad hatter "WELCOME WELCOME TODAY I SHALL ANNOUNCE THE TRIBUTES FOR THE 74TH HUN-"

Voice from crowd "WHO GIVES A CRAP?"

Effie smiling "Your fat ass mom. Now Ladies first!" draws Prims name "Ha! PRIMROSE EVERDEEN COME HERE AND DIE A PAINFUL DEATH!"

Prim 0.0 "WHAT? WAIT KATNISS TOLD ME THAT I WOULDN'T GET CHOSEN THAT SON OF A-!"

Katniss rolls her eyes "I'll take your place if everyone will just stop yelling!"

Effie nods "Alright. Boys!"

Gale thinking to himself _Hmmm there's that blonde kid over there staring at Katniss. If he's chosen I must volunteer!_

__Effie, "Peeta Mellark!"

Peeta walks up stairs "Bullshit!"

Gale, "I volunteer!"

Effie, "lovely!"

Peeta, "I volunteer!"

Gale, "No I volunteer!"

*goes on like this for five hours*

Effie pulls out a handgun "Alright bitches, whoever steps up gets their balls blown off!"

Gale slowly backs down the stairs

Peeta, "Crap."

Effie smiles and puts her gun away "VOLUNTEERS ARE OVER! I'm not going to shoot you Peeta, I'm just tired, NOW OFF TO THE CAPITOL BEFORE I KILL YOU BEFORE CATO DOES!"

Katniss and Peeta hurry up in the train

* * *

**Thats how the reaping really went!**


	2. Psh we do NOT need Nightlock

Katniss looks at Cato then at Peeta _Only Peeta and I can we so what shall do with other blondie…_ she then gasps "Cato!"

Cato looks at her "What?"

Katniss, "One of the mutts is the one that killed Glimmer!" when he shrugs she says "Clove" another shrugs "Maria" shrug "Me" his eyes widen "NO! I'LL KELL YOU!" he jumps down to the mutts. Three seconds later there's a cannon

I thought he was wearing armor… I see the instructions.

**WARNING: IF YOU HAVE A BONER WHILE WEARING THIS THE EFFECTS WILL WEAR OFF BUT YOU THINK IT STILL WORKS HAHA THAT'S HOW THE CAPTIOL RUNS BITCH! **

I shrug then immediately get creeped out.

Claudius Templesmith announces "Welcome last tributes well the last rule was revoked so Katniss or Peeta die!" I look at him and he looks at me.

"ROCK PAPER SCISSORS!" We shout.

**1,800,576,589,496 GAMES LATER…**

"TIE AGAIN!" I shout.

Claudius says "If I say both of you guys can win will you stop this demonic game?" he asks tired.

We both shrug and a hovercraft comes and picks us up before we can play again.


	3. Don't insult Angry birds

**I know I did this before but this idea is totally different, I'm not going to do the ending and stuff. This is how Cato really died!**

* * *

Cato yells out "I'M DYING! FUCK!"

Katniss laughs "I give him a few more mintues."

Peeta shakes his head "No more like a few more hours, Katniss."

Katniss smirks "Fine, when he doesn't die in the three hours You'll jump down PITA."

Peeta growls

Katniss mutters "Smartie."

Cato gets his ass back on the cornucopia "You mother fucking dicks. BETTING ON LONG I FUCKING LIVE!"

Katniss hits his bloodyish head "NO CUSS WORDS"

Cato then says so many colorful words it makes JOHANNA blush. He then adds "Why didn't you shoot me with an arrow?"

Katniss gasps "And waste my last arrow? That like when you play Angry Birds and you're down to your last bird yet you haven't killed any pigs! Its STUPID to waste it!"

Now Peeta and Cato are confused. Theres some silence until Cato says "Whats Angry Birds?"

Katniss then repeats from Wikipedia "There are currently eight different styles of playable birds, not including the Mighty Creatures, shown in the order they are first presented to the player. Each bird has a different ability, such as being able to boomerang back on itself, splitting to three, or exploding, these abilities are activated by tapping the screen while the bird is flying. Below is the list of birds the Red Bird - does nothing but does make a yell when tapped and does great at popping pigs the Blue Bird - splits into 3 birds that do great on glass when tapped. the Yellow Bird - picks up speed and distance and does great on wood when tapped. the Black Bird - explodes when tapped or upon impact and does great on stone the White Bird - drops an egg bomb that explodes on impact when tapped and does great on wood and glass. The Boomerang (Green) Bird - comes back like a boomerang when tapped and does great on wood and glass. The Big Brother Bird - Same as the Red Bird, but with much greater strength. The Orange Bird - inflates to huge size like a balloon when tapped or upon impact and deflates a little later. The Pigs, the bird's nemesis, are a colossal group of Pigs, and much like the birds, the pigs are also provided in different varieties, shown below. Theres Small Pig, Medium Pig, Large Pig, Helmet Pig, Mustache Pig, King Pig, Postman Pig (only found on the Pause Menu.)

There is a grand total of 345 levels in Angry Birds, including Golden Eggs. These levels are grouped into "episodes". In different episodes, the pigs try to find new ways to escape with the eggs _Poached Eggs_, the pigs simply steal the eggs and attempt to escape. Contains 63 levels, which must be conquered before any of the other episodes may be played. _Mighty Hoax_, the pigs steal the eggs and use a cut-out of the King to distract the birds while they escape. Contains 42 levels. _Danger Above_, the pigs steal the eggs and escape on board a number of makeshift aircraft. Contains 45 levels. _The Big Setup_, the pigs imprison the birds in a cage to prevent their defeat after stealing the eggs. However, Big brother red bird is still loose and frees the boomerang bird and they both fight back. Contains 45 levels. _Ham 'Em High_, the pigs, armed with a lasso, lassos the eggs out of the bird's nest, and takes them to the wild west. Contains 45 levels, and 3 facebook levels. _Mine and Dine_, the pigs steal the eggs a 6th time and attempt to hide underground. Contains 45 levels. _Birdday Party_, the birds find that the pigs have taken their eggs for the seventh time plus a piece of their cake. Contains 15 levels. _Surf and Turf_, this is the first episode to have no cutscene . Contains 15 levels, with 30 more levels coming soon. In Angry Birds Friends, cut scenes ARE included and ALL 45 levels can be played.

There are also Golden Eggs scattered throughout the game, which unlock hidden levels when collected."

Peeta mutters "Could've just put Katniss explained Angry Birds. " **( A/N I know I could've but I'm sure someone out there doesn't know what that is and I'm saving you from googling it! n_n ) **

Cato, "THAT SOUNDS STUPID! YOU DON'T BASE FUCKING LIFE OFF THAT BULLSHIT!"

Now Peeta just found out about this Angry Birds but he know Katniss loves it.

Katniss growls "DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" she then shoves him down and shoots an arrow through his skull. The cannon sounds and Katniss smirks. "I WON THE BET!"

Peeta smirks "It's been three hours."

Katniss, "DAMNIT!"

* * *

**I told ya about Angry Birds and I told you a lesson. Never make a bet with Peeta. OR INSULT ANGRY BIRDS OR SOMEONE WILL THROW YOU DOWN TO MUTTS AND SHOOT AN ARROW THROUGH YOUR SKULL! Also after this chap, you still want to read this lolz send me an idea of what scene you want to know what REALLY happened. **


	4. Interviews

** Adara mellark, your idea sounds funnier so Imma do this one :P and yes the whole thing XD I HAVE NO LIFE **

**and also Peeta and Katniss I'll do that one next chap  
**

**and Anniestar Mellark next next chap XD  
**

**Disclaimer for whole story: I OWN NOTHINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG IF I DID, PRIM WOULD HAVE GONE IN THE GAMES THAT WAY CATO AND CLOVE COULD'VE WON, I know I know I'm terrible**

* * *

So of course the stupid little District whore I mean 1 people go first. So Glimmer steps forward.

Ceaser smiles "Hello Glimmer how are you?"

Glimmer in a bikini that was wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy to tight smiles back "Hey good and you?"

Ceaser, "I'm wonderful!"

Glimmer, "I bet you are wonderful...in bed to."

_***ALRIGHT CEASER AND GLIMMER GET A BIT UH NAUGHTY FOR HER 5 MINUTES**_**_*  
_**

Ceaser is grinning "GLIMMER, THE GIRL WHO IS WONDERFUL IN BED"

Glimmer winks and slips him her number.

*SINCE SOMEONE SAID I FORGOT CATO AND I DID le gasp HERE IS HIS :D*

Ceaser, "Cato-"

Cato looks at him "Not my full name bitch."

Ceaser nods "Alright"

Cato, "THE FUCK WAS THAT"

Ceaser looks scared "All I said was al-"

Cato yells "YOU DIE FIRST" leaps on him

No one helps because Ceaser did not say hello to Snow

Ceaser. "HELP I'M BEING CHOKED"

Cato gets off "You know damn well not to say choked."

Ceaser o.0 then the buzzer rings "OH SWEET BABY JESUS"

I give him a remote "Press this if anyone's interview gets a bit wild"

*THEN BLAH BLAH BLAH LETS SKIP TO THE AWESOME FOXFACE*

Ceaser, "So whats your name?"

Foxface gasps "STALKER"

Ceaser sighs "Is it Zoe?"

Foxface shakes her head

Ceaser," Finch?"

Then all of a sudden the ground splits open. Foxface stomps "THE DEVIL TOLD YOU THAT"she then falls in the crack in the floor.

Ceaser o.0 "That apparently was Finch..."

No one claps

*THEN THE FOTABLOUS RUEEEEEEEEEEEEE*

Rue smiling innocently

Ceaser, "So Rue what are your skills? Tree climbing?"

Rue shakes her head "No I gut people and air out their intestines for eating and then I wear their skin."

Ceaser, "..." hits the buzzer "Aw the times up sorry Rue. THAT WAS RUE THE GIRL WHO NEEDS MENTAL HELP..."

Thresh comes on stage and holds him by his collar "WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT RUE?"

Ceaser, "She obviously needs help!"

Thresh drops him "True" leaves.

Ceaser is now scared. He shakily says "K-K-KATNISS EVERDEEN THE GIRL ON FIRE"

Katniss walks out "Sup you already know my name and I have a sis whos 12 and is a complete bitch. Most of it is due to the fact that she started her you know. Anyways I have a best friend back home who I hunt everyday with in the woods. He's HANDSOME AND MINE. He is not my cousin and will never be cause I can't kiss cousins duh."

Ceaser o.0 "Okayyyyyyyyyyyyy so you're really pretty-" he gets slapped by Katniss.

Katniss gasps "PERVERT!" turns around so that way her dress lights on fire and leaves.

Peeta comes out "I AM IN LOVE WITH THAT GIRL"

Ceaser, "Oh so tel-"

Sebastian bursts in "WHOS THAT GIRL JUST WALKED IN CLUB? JUST WALKED IN-"

Ceaser shoots him "YOU DIED MANY YEARS AGO"

Peeta o.0 "Anyways I met Katniss and threw bread at her face, but I fell in love with her since age 5."

Audience goes awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Ceaser rings the buzzer "AW HOW SWEET NOW GET THE FUCK OFF MY STAGE"

Peeta 0_0 gets off of his stage

* * *

**There was a reason we couldn't know Foxface's name o.0 I had to cuss just once :D Anyways hope you liked it took me a day to think of something :P **

**~Jerry a.k.a Mrs. Cato :D  
**

**( P.S. I will try to write another chap for this story today )  
**


	5. Random train scene

**OKAY BITCHES I IS BACK**

* * *

Katniss looked over at Peeta on the roof. There were noises coming from District 2's compartment...weird

"Whatca doing?" she asked him.

"Thinking"

"Of what?"

He gave a sigh then looked at her deep in thought.

"I was thinking...if I were to die, I w-"

"Want to still be me" she finshed with a smile. He looked at her like WTF

"HELL NO BITCH I would NOT want to be a virgin still."

"..."

"Katniss come here..."

"NO" He then chased her around on the roof and it ended when she threw his pervy ass on the forcefield. He started singing "ONE LESS LONELY GIRL"

"BITCH I WILL CUT YOU"

* * *

**Short and on crack...enough about me **


	6. LOL DUMB BITCHES

**I would love for people to stop calling unicorns gay...Mikey Way will kill you ;) **

**ANYWAYS I ship Clato, Kale, Butato (My name for Buttercup and Cato LOL), Hayeffie, ummmm and Fannie! YUP OH AND GEETA AND DRARRY AND DRAMIONE! **

**I'd advise reading this alone**

* * *

Katniss walked through the bitter cold. She gripped the cup tighter thinking 'FUCK ITS FUCKING WHAT DOES A MOTHER FUCKER HAVE TO DO TO GET SOME HOTNESS IN DIS BITCH!' Of course no one gave two shits. She bumped into Peeta.

"Hey Catnip! Lets cuddle!"

"I will not touch you."

"Why not?"

"YOU TRIED TO MOLEST ME"

"Oh come on, you touched me after those times!"

"I was trying to live you blonde haired son of a bitch!"

Draco Lucius Malfoy suddenly appeared "Whats wrong with blondes?" he said in a smexy british accent while I'm Bringing Sexy Back played in the background.

"N-Nothing" started Katniss blinded by the Slytherin.

"Good, Mudblood" he smirked then disappeared.

"I should feel insulted but I am happy...DRACO MALFOY TALKED TO ME!"

"Bitch why da fuck are you obsessing over a dude?" Peet said with his arms crossed.

Suddenly Ray Toro appeared.

Peeta O_O "RAY TORO!" Touches his afro.

Ray chuckles "So long" he then disappeared.

"I fangirl over shit? BITCH PLEASE"

Peeta says ignoring her "If I had a vagnia I'd have sex with him. If I were to have gay sex with him, I'd cum in his hair then his face!" he says it like the way you think about your fantasies. Yeah bitches. I KNOW.

Katniss backs away slowly...

* * *

**LOL If your parents saw any of that I will not take the blame considering I am a 12 year old :3 **

**Me: WHEN I WAS A YOUNG BOY **

**Friend: LOL KNEW YOU WERE A BOY  
**

**Me: then why do I have bigger boobs than you and mines don't get saggier? **

**Friend: Bitch **

**Me: ANYWAYS My father took me into the city to see a marching band, he said 'Son when you gro-"**

** Random chick: WILL YOU BE THE SAVIOR OF THE BROKEN  
**

**Me: THE BEATEN AND THE DAMNED **

**And thats how I meet my new friend :3 times three**


	7. FVDF

**Mother fucking- I had wrote this story *its not even long but still* **

**FF MADE DO IT OVER AGAIN **

**I am doing this when I should be writing my homework **

* * *

Katniss, "I love you Gale"

Gale rolls his eyes "Yeah right bitch"

Katniss, "I do. Its true love" she smiles

*5 mins later*

Katniss, "I love you Peeta."

Gale pops out of nowhere "TOLD YA SO BITCH! I KNEW YOU WERE LYING, WHICH IS WHY I HAD SEX WITH BUTTERCUP!"

Katniss O_.

Gale flips his hair "Peace out bitches.

* * *

**Don't see why FF hates me...anyways a thanks to **

Foxfacephobia: The fear that every berry you eat is Nightlock's admin Four-Note-Tune for inspiring me 


	8. LOL GALE

**LOL I AM ON CRACK OFFICALY. **

**Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeissexy **

**Me: WHERE WERE YOU WHEN EVERYTHING WAS FALLING APART **

**Girl: o.o **

**Me: LOST AND INSECURE YOU FOUND ME **

**Girl: ... **

**Me: LYING ON THE FLOOR *falls* **

**Girl: ..I should leave now **

**Mrs. Collins: I am going to make her stay with you next time you don't do your work **

* * *

Prim holds her little fugly cat near her

Katniss busts into the door and snatches the cat out of her hands.

Prim obviously knowing Katniss hates her starts crying

To her surprise Katniss starts dancing with Fugly (AKA BUTTERCUP) and starts to sing "You're the best thing I never knew I needeeddddddd"

Prim o.o

Gale comes in "NO BUTTERCUP IS MINE"

Katniss, "I KNEW HIM LONGER"

Gale, "WE HAVE SPECIAL TIMES TOGETHER"

Katniss, "SO DO WE I PAINT HIS NAILS"

Gale, "SO W- wait you said he?"

Katniss nods

Gale o.o

Katniss o.o

Prim o.o

Buttercup n_n

* * *

**I love this for some reason **

**ANYWAYS PEACE **

**~Mrs. Malato**


	9. Love

**Okay serious post here **

**I love cupcakes **

**ANYWAYS someone told me I have to change it so I wills :3 **

* * *

Gale knocks on the Mellark bakery door. He stands there and starts tapping his foot. He lets out a huff as he waits. He makes eye contact with Mrs. Mellark and looks at her like What the fuck when she rolls her eyes. Peeta goes to the door and opens it.

"You fail, you're supposed to WALK IN ITS A GODDAMN FUCKING BAKERY!" Peeta says watching him walk in.

Gale rolls his eyes "I just want to talk to Katniss, do you know where she is?"

Peeta shakes his head and Gale slaps the good for nothing gay boy. Sure enough, Peeta runs into a rainbow riding Fluttershy.

Gale raises an eyebrow "Well that certainly was interesting!" He goes over to Madge's house and walks in.

Madge's blue eyes widen "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

"This isn't a bakery?"

"NO YOU IDIOT"

"Well I will be on my way!"

Gale then went over to Katniss house

"OH CATNIP!"

Katniss opens the door "What do you want Gale?"

Gale looks at her "Can I say goodbye to my love?"

"Buttercup?"

"Yeah"

Rolling her eyes she handed her to him.

Gale looked the cat deep into the eyes "Buttercup I love you and I always will."

"Me-"

"Don't cry"

"M-"

"Be strong man" he set her down then walked into the sunset.


End file.
